Relief!

Praise God, I am much better! I have a filling in my tooth again and the pain is nearly gone.
I feel almost back to my old self. I have been down and out for over 2 weeks. I can not tell you how nice it is to sleep and be able to do laundry and housework without pain. Thank you for your prayers.

The storms of life

The latest storm in my life started last week. I was feeling a little off and went in to the doctor. Turns out I had the flu, strep, ear and sinus infection. Praise God my mother in law was in town by chance. I did nothing but sleep for 3 days. After that, I still felt like death but managed to go to work on Friday. On Wednesday of last week, one of my molars started feeling weird. I had a root canal and crown on it 5 years ago and didn’t think much of it. I had my teeth cleaned on Friday and they found nothing. I was in so much pain Friday night and Saturday I had to call the dentist. He prescribed a round of antibiotics and painkillers which did nothing for the pain. Sunday night I had an emergency visit with a special dentist for an abscessed tooth. Right now I am still in a tremendous amount of pain to the point in effects my work, my parenting, my relationship with James. I get very nauseous from the pain and not much helps it. They just called in a new antibiotic to hopefully get me some relief. I wish at this point I had them pull the tooth, but at the time saving the tooth was cheaper and seemed like a better choice.
With all of that going on I am trying to seek God and what he is trying to teach me. He has made it clearer than ever that James is a wonderful husband and father. He has taken great care of me and just let me sit, and cry. I am struggling with handling the pain and staying sane. I know that God has a lesson in all of this, I hope that I ‘get it’. It hurts me so emotionally to not be able to play with Zach and give him what he needs.
I heard this song on the radio. It made me realize that this is not a tragedy. I’m trying to suck it up, but it is hard!Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasyIt’s just a common case of everyday realityMan I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it upTo hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedyIt sounds like life to me

15 months

The boots is 14 months.

WOW Time flies

Where to begin

Where to begin…
I guess what is on my heart.I want to LOVE and KNOW JESUS better! I get so caught up in “me, me, me” that I do not put what matters most 1st. I know that to be the wife and mother that God has called me to be, I am going to have to put Jesus in my life in more places. What and how I am doing on that will come later.
I am currently, exhausted. No, I am not pregnant. But, it is that kind of exhaustion. Work is kicking my butt right now. I love what I do, but I feel so tired and lazy when I get home. I took Zach to daycare one morning and did not see him until the next morning. I told my boss that would never happen again. I am blessed because he totally understood.
I am also an emotional wreck. I don’t know if it is my raging hormones, hot flashes, stress from work, lack of sleep, physical exhaustion or all of the above. I know it is the hormones and stress that cause triggers these emotional lapses, but I hate it. I hate not feeling stable and not having it together.
We took a test at work about what color you are, and I am gold. That is not surprising, but I being gold is not always a good thing. I have to learn that when the plan, the schedule, and how I have planned everything in my head without even meaning to plan it doesn’t go my way it is okay.
My dear friend taught me so much about grace. I am currently living on that hope and faith that she taught me through God’s words. His Grace is sufficient. He is enough. I have to remember and cling to that daily.
Zach brings us more joy that we could have ever imagined. We are so blessed by him. My recent surgery has us thinking and praying about whether Zach will ever be a big brother. We are still unsure, but know it will not be for some time.

I can't even begin to blog about our summer. I need to so that it is on record. It was fun, exciting, and what I needed.

I need to be a better friend. I miss all of you so. Please know I love and care for you all. I may not comment, but I am reading again about your lives and sweet blessings.

Summer

WOW-June is gone and we are about to hit the road again.

We were in Disney for a week. Zach did amazing. He really LOVED it! Mickey was his favorite. He even did the "Hot Dog" dance with characters at a character lunch. I would take him back at 13 months again. At first I thought we were crazy, but it was worth the sweat to see his sweet face experience Disney. Everyone asks our favorite part, and it really was seeing Zach's eyes light up at all the excitement. He would point and say 'ook' at things. He clapped so hard during the shows.

Zach went home with my parents GiGi and Pops, for 4 days while I went to San Antonio to a great conference. It was such a hard 4 days without him. My Mom and Dad would keep him forever if they could. I got to go and spend about a week with my family in Cooper. I truly miss where, how, and who I grew up with. It is a very special place. Zach truly loves country life. He loves the swimming pool, kitties, horses, and his little red wagon. Zach's uncle Welton took him for rides down the steep driveway and into the field. I almost had a hear attack, but Uncle Welton assured me it was not his first trip.
We will be in Lubbock for a few days and then are headed to Corpus for a week. The plan then is for me and Zach to go back to my parents for one last week.

WOW! This Summer is almost gone now!

What a Year

This is my favorite picture. I miss sitting and holding him all day long!

These are some of the first pictures of Zach, with clothes on. ;)

This Saturday, May 2nd, is Zach's first birthday! What a year we have had filled with such JOY! I always knew that children were/are a blessing, but I have been blown away with what blessing Zach is. Each day, no matter the circumstance, his little face brings us such joy and happiness. I see in those big brown eyes, God's love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness. The sacrifice God made for me is even more real now.

I think back often of the dispair, hopelessness, and hurt in my heart trying to have a baby. How faithful our Lord has been to our family. How can we keep from singing his praise!

A few scriptures that are on my heart:

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Ps 127:3

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD. Ps 113:9

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11

Spring Pictures

We have too much going on to even begin to blog about it.
Being a working mom is tough, but we are so blessed. Zach is growing and changing every day. He tool three steps on 4/09 but does not consistently walk by himself. He can really cruise if he is holding a hand though.
Here are some Easter/Spring pictures.
I always had colored chicks growing up. I am so thankful Kelly found some and Bianca took Zach's green chick home with her.

Okay, so as always I tried to upload too many pictures at once and blogger pooped out.
I will post when it it not almost midnight.

For now, what is on my heart:
I serve a risen Saviour,
He's in the world today;
I know that He is living,
Whatever men may say;I see His hand of mercy,
I hear His voice of cheer,
And just the time I need Him
He's always near.Chorus:
He lives,
He lives,
Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and He talks with meAlong life's narrow way.
He lives, He live,
salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives:
He lives within my heart.

Haircut

After

Right After

During

Before



My little boy looks like a little man now. Zach had his first haircut on Saturday. He did a really good job! I teared up for a minute.

Zachary and the terrible, horrible no good very bad day

Have you read this book? It is a great book to read when you are feeling like you are having a bad day. I wish that I had it to read to Zach today. And to be honest, read to myself.
This week was not very bueno.
Zach had fever and a stuffy nose Wednesday and Thursday. I had a high fever Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I went to the dr. and my flu and strep test were negative. Thank God! I had a fever though and my whole body ached. I just knew it had to be the flu. I am still running a low fever with cold meds and antibiotics. Weird!

Today, James went to work out and then to work until 1:30. Zach and I had a very bad morning. I don't know if he is teething or just fussy, but I could do nothing right for him. He was hungry but didn't want his bottle or me to feed him. I put food on his tray and he got mad he couldn't get it all to his mouth. But, heaven forbid mommy put it in his mouth. Then to make matters worst, mommy attacked him with the nose saline and the booger sucker several times.

By the time James got home I was in tears. I was mad at Zach and mad at myself for being mad at Zach. It is not like a 10 month old knows what he is doing is driving me mad. If I could get air through my nose it probably would have helped the situation, but I can't breathe through my nose.

So, Zach is asleep and I am going to take my night time cold meds. Hopefully, this is the end of the very horrible, not good very bad day.