Sunday, August 16, 2009

Where to begin

Where to begin…
I guess what is on my heart.I want to LOVE and KNOW JESUS better! I get so caught up in “me, me, me” that I do not put what matters most 1st. I know that to be the wife and mother that God has called me to be, I am going to have to put Jesus in my life in more places. What and how I am doing on that will come later.
I am currently, exhausted. No, I am not pregnant. But, it is that kind of exhaustion. Work is kicking my butt right now. I love what I do, but I feel so tired and lazy when I get home. I took Zach to daycare one morning and did not see him until the next morning. I told my boss that would never happen again. I am blessed because he totally understood.
I am also an emotional wreck. I don’t know if it is my raging hormones, hot flashes, stress from work, lack of sleep, physical exhaustion or all of the above. I know it is the hormones and stress that cause triggers these emotional lapses, but I hate it. I hate not feeling stable and not having it together.
We took a test at work about what color you are, and I am gold. That is not surprising, but I being gold is not always a good thing. I have to learn that when the plan, the schedule, and how I have planned everything in my head without even meaning to plan it doesn’t go my way it is okay.
My dear friend taught me so much about grace. I am currently living on that hope and faith that she taught me through God’s words. His Grace is sufficient. He is enough. I have to remember and cling to that daily.
Zach brings us more joy that we could have ever imagined. We are so blessed by him. My recent surgery has us thinking and praying about whether Zach will ever be a big brother. We are still unsure, but know it will not be for some time.

I can't even begin to blog about our summer. I need to so that it is on record. It was fun, exciting, and what I needed.

I need to be a better friend. I miss all of you so. Please know I love and care for you all. I may not comment, but I am reading again about your lives and sweet blessings.


Brie said...

I'm gold too or at least I was about 6 years ago!:). I think God has used my girls to chip away my goldness and infuse His!! Praying for you. You have a lot to juggle!!!

Leah Dooley said...

Dana! You had surgery? Ok, so how are things 2 months since you've posted this because I hope you are feeling more sunny & not so rainy.

I'm praying that you will keep your eyes focused on what He is doing. Lex & I have realized how the past year or so has been all about what God is doing in "our lives" and not necessarily His kingdom work. It changed our perspective when we realized yet AGAIN that it's not about us. It just takes the pressure off, ya know?

I hope you are blessed today and get to spend quality time with your sweet child & awesome husband. We need to get together.