The nursery battle started last week. Well, really as soon as we knew we were having the baby. It has taken me a while to be able to write about this without my blood pressure rising significantly. It’s funny, now that I am pregnant when I get mad I feel my heart start to beat faster and my face turning red. That is another story in itself.
Background on the nursery
In December before our 19 week visit, I ordered baby bedding. I just knew that we were having a boy, and our doctor pretty much called it at 14 weeks. So, I searched the internet far and wide and found a bedding I liked called Baby Picasso made up of blue and brown colors. Well, my mom came into town and we decided that we like one from JC Penney’s called mad about plaid that was blue and brown better. So, mom gave us gift cards and we ordered Mad about Plaid. It was not going to ship until February 2nd, but I was okay with that.
Last Monday, I called Penneys to ask where my bedding was and if it had been shipped. Well, they said it would ship February 5th. I threw a fit about this, even though it was only a few days. Well, the 5th came and went and the bedding was not shipped. To make a long story short, I called JC Penny every night last week. On Thursday they told me the bedding would not ship until April 30th. As you can imagine, this posed a problem. My due date is May 15th. I was so upset and frustrated that I had to have James call. James called and talked to a guy and they worked something out as far as canceling the order and getting cash back. Well, then a lady called and said the bedding would ship by this Friday, the 15th. I said, okay that would be fine. On Friday, I called back and the ordered had been cancelled. During this whole ordeal, I was fine with it being cancelled because I knew I could order Baby Picasso that I originally wanted to order. Well, come to find out Baby Picasso was on back order at EVERY store that sold it, and could not be shipped until late March. So when I found out they cancelled, it I nearly had a mild heart attack in the hallway at school. The poor lady that had to deal with me managed to save the order and assured delivery by the 15th.
At some point, I broke down because of all of this. James said I could go and get bedding any where in town. (He didn’t know at the point that bedding at Kidspace was about $400.) I was ranting and raving about how the nursery is the most important part of the baby coming, and the most fun thing to do. It seems like everything that has had to do with the nursery has been difficult.
THEN after all of this it hit me! I stopped and listened to what God was trying to say/teach me sense the beginning of the nursery battle. It is not about the nursery. It is not about having a room for the baby perfect in every way so everyone can tell me how cute it is. It is about preparing our marriage, our hearts, and our future for this baby. If I would be so consumed with my relationship and walk with Jesus as I had been this nursery, I would be at a much better place. God rocked my world with this revelation. It all came together and made sense to me. In our crazy lives, that are about to get crazier, I can’t control everything. I might as well stop trying to control them and truly turn every aspect of my life over to God. I thought I had learned my lesson about letting go and giving up control, but God quickly reminded me that I still had so much to learn.
So, with this I can truly say I have let the bedding/nursery issue go. Zach will have a home to come home to where he is loved and truly cared for. He will be brought up in a family that adores him and LOVES God. He will be raised as a gift from God and given back to Him all the days of his life.